i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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