My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize