Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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