youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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