I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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