i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize