first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
