My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
