the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
