also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm getting married
To pizza
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
