Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize