The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wish you could order shots online.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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