He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
