I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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