did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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