I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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