Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
