I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm both gender and math confused
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize