He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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