oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
