This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
