dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
