i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
