The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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