im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
