okay pat passed out under dana's car
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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