how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
