I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
