from now on my penis is your penis
just tell him i said nine months
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
