You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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