Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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