After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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