I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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