So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
