I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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