In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He is an equal opportunity slut.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
