Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
