Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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