I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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