The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
