some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
