If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
