only if we run a train.
done.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is Oprah even human
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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