yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
