totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
is that a dick in a sweater?
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