I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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