Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
