I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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