He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
