I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
