evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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