no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
