She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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