You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
