I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
