This girl is more easily done than said...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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