i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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