Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jonesy1229 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

Fav 9 3586 1040
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

Fav 28 1552 4006
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

Fav 374 3653 9033
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

Fav 12 3562 1300
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

Fav 1 2465 963
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars

Fav 3 2500 938
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.

Fav 2 817 1557
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high

Fav 1 110 105
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.

Fav 0 55 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT