Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
