I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
